Twas the night before Christmas in Baldwin County

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a federally protected, development-stopping, endangered beach mouse.

The protest signs were staked by the schools with care,
In hopes that the street preacher soon would be there

The island children were nestled all snug in their beds,
while nightmares of broomsticks danced in their…heads.

The wife in her kerchief and preacher in his cap,
Had just filed another lawsuit and were ready to snap

When out in the triangle there arose such a clatter,
The mayor sprang from his boat to see what was the matter

Away to the window he flew like a rumor
Tore open the shutter and laughed in good humor

The moon on the trunks of the new-fallen trees
Made all of the huggers fall down to their knees

When what to our wandering eyes soon appears
But some crazy sista selling oil-spill souvenirs

With a brand new super to replace the retiree
We knew in a moment, the second choice it would be

Now Dorsey! Now, Gruber! On Burt and on James!
On taxes! On back-room deals! Oh what a shame!

To the top of 5A! To the top of 6A!
The Toros and Trojans bring pride to LA!

No titles for Pirates, but reasons to split we can list ’em.
1 cent’s not enough because we need our own system.

The summer was ruined by BP and that spill
But thanks for the trip to Margaritaville

Steve gets a break because the jury had doubt.
When will the new girl get her hair to fan out?

This year was a rough one
and we’re glad that it’s done

Despite the complaints, we know Baldwin is best
If you haven’t been good head back to the West.

Merry Christmas to all and to all our good will.
It could always be worse.  Hey, we could live in Mobile.

Sincere apologies to those that were left out.  The beer involved made it difficult to find rhymes for some topics that could have been included.  What rhymes with tractor company?  Feel free to add your own verses in the comments.