WTF, Chuck: What’s the most romantic thing to do in Baldwin County?

A reader writes:

Dear Chuck,

It’s almost Valentine’s Day and I’ve got no idea what to do with my old lady. It’s not that I want to spend any extra time or money on her but I also don’t want to listen to her nag me about not doing anything until the next holiday.

Just kidding, Chuck. I love the girl and want to do something special for her. Any ideas?

Sincerely,

Romeo from Robertsdale

Dear RfR,

This is a very timely question. I’m glad you didn’t wait until the last minute to ask it. Relax, though, because you’ve got plenty of time.

You don’t provide much background info about your Valentine. I’ll have to make a few assumptions about what she might like based on the fact that she’s dating and/or married to someone from Robertsdale, as you’ve claimed to be.

Here are some ideas:

• Take her out for drinks at Foley Middle School
• Go tree hugging in Fairhope - Hugging? Is that getting to second base still?
• Take a cruise - Mayor Kant may be offering Love Boat cruises on the flagship of the Fairhope Navy
• Take her to see the next show of the Crazy Loxley Street Preachers
• Make some peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and go on a picnic in Summerdale
• Give her a special stimulus package
• Ask the superintendent
• Double date with Whetstone - let him drive
• Try dancing in the skreets of Foley with Kippery
• Let President Obama talk dirty to her (NSFW)

Some of those might actually work for you, but I doubt it. Here are some actual suggestions for a romantic encounter:

• The beach - tried, true
• The Fairhope pier
• Spend the weekend at the Grand Hotel
• Tell her you love her
• Places to romance your sweetie this Valentine’s Day

I’m sure our readers have better ideas. I’ve never been the romantic type. Just ask any of my previous wives.

Can you help Romeo out with this? Share your ideas for romantic Valentine’s Day ideas by leaving a comment below.